18 Forever Alone Celebrities

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12. Simon Cowell

When womanizing pufferfish pretending-to-be-a-nice-guy Simon Cowell got text-dumped by Terri Seymour–well, we didn’t feel sorry for him like we did Katy Perry or Jessica Simpson.

Seriously, did anybody feel sorry him? We also didn’t feel sorry for him when Sinitta Renet Malone dumped him to start a fling with David Essex.

It’s just not easy to feel sorry for Cowell. And it’s not hard to fool around on him, either. There’s just something so irritating and obnoxious about him…what could it be?

Maybe it’s because he is rude, egotistical and boorish? Nah… Maybe Demi Lovato summed it up by calling Cowell “a bit of an a**hole” on Conan O’Brien’s show. Maybe. Or it could be the comment he made about an American Idol contestant who was overweight: Next year we will need a bigger stage.

Yep, that’s it! Because Cowell is about as warm and friendly as a pregnant anaconda craving a large mammal, we know there will be more dumpings in his future–and we’re looking forward to it gleefully!